I Wrote a Fantasy Novel Set Entirely in a Public Restroom

Shut up, yes I did.  This is not a joke.  Well, it is a joke… but it’s a two hundred page joke that takes itself very seriously.  It’s called Captain Rob Fights.  One day I had a thought: What if I set a high fantasy in the lowest of places?  It was originally going to be a short story, but then I had another thought: What if I stretched this one ply concept beyond all reason?  Yeah, I’ll do that.  So I did.

porce map
See?  I even have a Lord-of-the-Rings-style map!  It’s totally a legitimate fantasy novel.

If you don’t believe I have that kind of free time, I’ll be posting the first part tomorrow and then adding one a day until the whole thing is up.  You’ll see my excessive and strange version of toilet humor.

It has all the fixtures you’d expect of the genre from strange creatures and ancient magic to powerful relics and jaw-dropping battles.  It also has all the fixtures of a bathroom… from sinks to hand dryers.

It tells the tale of an adventurous and occasionally cruel sink pirate and his crew as they struggle to mop up somebody else’s mess.  He has to use every tool at his disposal, like knowledge of the strange language Pawtymouth, if he is to stop religious zealots from ending the world at their most sacred location: the glory hole.

I encourage you to stop by and check it out.  I really did it, I swear.  I really spent that long in the bathroom making crappy jokes.

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