M-A-C (22): ‘Sore Spotter’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: September 13^th, 2001

Collection Location: (REDACTED), Wisconsin

Collection Report: Teenager D.C. Wingfire was testing out a newly purchased (via her father) dartboard from a yard sale. (Take note that the item was previously flagged under the Horseshit Protocol, but was not collected.) The two engaged in a friendly game.

Through foolishly jumping in front of his daughter’s shot, the father wound up with a dart embedded in his thigh. The wound was judged minor after its removal; the dart was washed and play resumed.

The next time that dart, identified by a rusty stain on its tip, was thrown, it veered away and caught Wingfire’s father in the thigh again, precisely the same spot as before. The report becomes unclear, but somehow a third throw was attempted and the dart navigated three separate rooms and an ajar door to find Mr. Wingfire’s thigh.

The wound’s surrounding bruise became worse with each impact. Its preference for Mr. Wingfire was only altered after collection, when intentionally embedded in a pork shoulder. From then on any throw would land precisely there, as long as there was an open path, at a range of up to one mile. The item is made safe simply by not throwing it, and consists of that sole dart.

Current Collector: D.C. Wingfire, junior rank

Notes from Collector: “We’re indigenous, and some of the catalog people say we should house most of these things because the government can’t raid the reservations. I think you white people brought this shit with you. I’m only keeping this one because I found it, and it’s funny how nervous it makes my dad.”

Current Status: active

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