M-A-C (23): ‘Saw Bank’

Category: doohickey

Collection Date: April 1^st, 1967

Collection Location: Wall Street, New York

Collection Report: After a bank raid, and just prior to thirteen suicides from the roof of the (REDACTED) building, in which all those who died had not a single bill or coin on their person, this item was found tipped over on the sidewalk.

M-A-C (23) is a cast iron mechanical bank depicting two lumber workers sawing at a log. The coin slit is positioned just behind the blade, and the lever is the ‘falling’ round of wood on the front. When a coin is deposited and the lever pressed, the figures saw back and forth briefly.

However, whenever a unique individual both deposits a coin and presses the lever, the bank remotely opens an account in a brick and mortar bank in their name, sometimes states away. The MAC then proceeds to manage the associated funds, which start only with the inserted coins. Its decisions are always prudent, and it’s suspected to have created the personal fortunes of (REDACTED) and (REDACTED).

Not equipped to deal with such large sums, those who find out about their holdings via contact from the traditional bank often succumb to mismanagement and excess. Suicide has been known to follow.

Current Collector: ‘Brigadoon’: The MAC private museum, gallery, and war room, senior rank

Notes from Collector: “The Saw Bank both generates and manages the main fund that runs the catalog. Its creative investing capacity and its seeming emotional investment in us makes it a doohickey rather than a whatsit, which also makes some nervous. They think it could turn on us, but the fact is, even if a person could run our finances on their own, there’s no way they wouldn’t have embezzled tens of millions at this point.

It even knows not to line our pockets too much, as that would make it impossible to keep the government or foreign agents off our backs. Thanks to it, we’ve got the biggest fund in the world that can be kept secret… except… I guess for any others.

Current Status: active

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