M-A-C (25): ‘Literally Figurative Lightning Rod’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: October 29^th, 1995

Collection Location: (REDACTED), Massachusetts

Collection Report: Reported and logged by its current collector, this MAC is an antique lightning rod with a thick patina. Its midsection bears an oddly shaped bulge that, when viewed from certain angles, resembles a fist deploying the middle finger. It was installed where it currently stands, on the roof of the collector’s compound, where it serves both its intended function and its anomalous one.

When struck, the MAC becomes energized, drawing the attention of people nearby as well as their ire. An excuse for their emotional outbursts is constructed and stoked until an angry mob forms.

In the case of collector ‘Saint Elmer’, the ‘reason’ is often cited as his cantankerous nature and disobedience of local building codes. His robust security measures have defused all instances thus far, as the rod merely charges the ‘atmosphere’, and tipping the people to actual violence is difficult. The more the rod is struck in quick succession, the higher the risk.

Current Collector: ‘Saint Elmer’, senior rank

Notes from Collector: “I’ve had pitchforks on me for everything from property taxes to sports jerseys. I grow my own tobacco, and I blow better smoke than this MAC. It’ll give up soon, and I’ll still be right where I grounded and took root.”

Current Status: active

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