Confabulo: Throw a Monkey Wrench (part three)

(back to part one)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 53 minutes)

Ring around the Rose-colored Glasses

Was it possible for the spirit to reside on some heavenly beach while the body still walked a mortal plane? Al was really reaching for explanations as to what was going on inside him. Logically nobody should have better insight than him, but at the same time, wasn’t he the least likely person to ever tear himself open, turn his eyes around, and examine the goings-on?

A beach made sense to him because he was getting the sensation of buoying surf, highs and troughs, almost rhythmically now. During the fight, when the lightning should’ve been taking him from medium well to well done, he instead felt nearly weightless, lifted by intangible tides. Then, after it had died down, the low of bruises and shivers. Continue reading

Confabulo: Throw a Monkey Wrench (part two)

(back to part one)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 12 minutes)

Ace the Test

The police station was on the precipice of the Ice Fields, while technically being in the Connections, a sore spot the commissioner tried to cover by shelling out public funds for some diamond veneers on everything from wall lamps to pen caps, the latter on diamond chains of course.

As a result the rest of the materials were subpar, composite board desks, flaky black paint on all the filing cabinets, green felt covering any unsightly water stains but only masking the associated mildew smells with its own sneeze-inducing fibers. The whole place, even with its high ceiling, felt like an office through which movers were transporting the belongings of a much wealthier neighbor. Continue reading

Confabulo: Throw a Monkey Wrench (part one)

One man has reformulated the primordial soup, opening countless possibilities as he keeps the secret recipe to himself.  It animates his robots, who swarm into industry and build lives of their own.  It enlightens the animals, who are granted citizenship!  It turns humans into indestructible floating heads pondering the universe.

The tributaries of revolutionizing soup converge in Iron Baltimore, city of futures bright and dim, where lives the world’s only hyperdiamond manufacturer, the artist known as Al Grand whose own invention, when loaded into a popgun, can destroy a robot’s crystal brain in a single blow.  But he doesn’t sell, and he won’t tell.  Everyone’s got it out for him, and one of them has broken in and left a slimy gift in his apartment…

Throw a Monkey Wrench is the first novel in a Wizard-of-Ozian dieselpunk series of five!

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 12 minutes)

Confabulo

Throw a Monkey Wrench

by

Blaine Arcade

Dress Up with Nowhere to Go

Figures so unlike their lazy scarecrow cousins were strewn across the half-planted fields. Rusty and plain, riveted at left and right, they were bent and frozen mid-labors with hoes, spades, rakes, and watering cans. Round eyes of ribbed ochre glass were dark as the night, poised to borrow the day.

The first rays of morning crested a distant hill, shot into their midst and struck one of the figures on the chest. A stream resumed, as the watering can they held tilted imperceptibly. More light fired across the land, found purchase in their pitted metal and nesting rust. A hoe struck. A rake dragged.

As seeds dropped into divots squeaking steps made more mere feet away. The metal workers came to life, no need for breakfast or stretches. Not a single dream had broken the sequence of their tasks, as their minds could not take them anywhere without their permission or his.

For them it was as if the night had never occurred, as if stillness never occurred. Their entire existence was active experience, perpetual transportation of body, thought, and emotion, caught in currents that required adaptation. When the currents slowed so did they, and when the currents sped they made history much faster than humans were used to.

The morning didn’t stop there; it kept on out of the farmlands where things only grew yea high and on to the city where they grew until the tallest one toppled. Dawn’s artillery on those walls of glass, concrete, brick, iron, and brass was weaker than breath, for this was Iron Baltimore. Its industry was moved by figures well-adapted, ever-present. One fed the other. The leaking weaknesses of previous perpetual motion machines were patched by the constant influx of human demand, of their mean-spirited and flirtatious pushing, and of their emanating incandescent body heat, like blankets tossed out of windows drifting to the street. Iron Baltimore was swaddled with energy. Continue reading

Declaration: Gibberish Mire (Finale)

(estimated reading time: 53 minutes)

Where!?

Bick to Backering. Excerpted thim thes timed companyions further brainded than long-gated Wagonher. Kudd’s thirst chewse on helpupping Bonelyre Pinned und Crowize add just two L-swears askneaded. Butt in thair shees whizn’t arse inclined ass she umed. Backended to Wick snuffered taughaut aghen, lessoned lake treadwaters, downd lake drugging in whine.

Wagonher encompassed a pointy all-in belt, wagnered Knowrth the way to tavendor’s keyp, iffin it haddocked otherplatz on staggburred drunk ledggs. Theire might be founded and won ormbinous avoid: hole filled with punch that used to were the bodd of Hamsandcans Glammount. Asquerying locales how two reconvict themtwain was her gaol, a seedcret to be retilled in Pursuit of grown pease. Continue reading

Declaration: Gibberish Mire (Part Four)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 13 minutes)

Eviction Declaration

The coerced accord was signed, and in it a plan of attack. What none of them were prepared for was the degree to which mobilization of their military machine would make it clear that the experiment of Pilgrim’s Anchor was coming to an end. Should they succeed, in erasing the Bickyplots’ claims on Pursuitia and its inhabitants, the remaining Founders would then be free to attempt their Second Declaration, intended to return them not only to the American colonies, but to the exact moment they had left so they could resume their plans for a true revolution in a world they at least thought they understood.

If that happened, nothing needed left behind. So it could all come down, apart, and then alight on the wheels of war if it would be of any help in this singular assault. Everyone began to strip the stores, the walls, the cabinets and cupboards. They entered a kind of mania where they couldn’t stand to see anything with hinges closed. Anchor needed to spit up its contents, disgorge its secrets, and splinter inside out to make sure no rusty nail bent away from Bickering Hall. Continue reading

Declaration: Gibberish Mire (Part Three)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 36 minutes)

Squatters’ Bill of Claim

Just as Hart’s message to her had begun to unfold into fresh shoots thanks to the magic of its green ink, so too did the political situation in Pilgrim’s Anchor find itself ripped open by growing pains. In a single encounter much of what had been settled fact for decades was upended. Now waterlogged powers desperately patched leaks. Curious stowaway rats searched for new unintentional passages.

To the Founders Pursuitia never looked smaller. Their first instinct was to retract into the tortoise shell of Independence Hall. Papering over the exterior to a mad degree, the building now looked as if wagons had literally circled it with their canvas. No doubt they were furiously at work, perched over writing desks, forcing themselves to vomit up new corkscrew legal clauses that would extricate them from this perplexing bottleneck bind. Continue reading

Declaration: Gibberish Mire (Part Two)

(estimated reading time: 44 minutes)

Leaflets

Almost every young hand was in the Jefferson Drafting Library, toiling away with writing instruments. Franklin pens were the best choice, if you could ignore the occasional zap, but there were not enough to go around, leaving only old fashioned quills, sometimes from anatimals and sometimes the diaphanous backbone-like stents found in Pursuitian worm mantles.

Even Kidd was there, behind a student’s desk of her own. She would be by far the slowest at producing leaflets, but the Founders apparently thought every five would count, though they might taker her half as many hours. Continue reading

Declaration: Gibberish Mire (Part One)

The signing of the United States Declaration of Independence… has gone awry!  As it so happens the declaration was too powerfully worded, and effectively declared independence from the realm of Earth.  The signing founders, and those legally considered their property, and a Native American tribe roped in as well thanks to an old treaty, have been transported to a strange new land where trees write upon their own leaves and owl-eyed worms march about in the shapes of men.

Twenty years on the Founders are desperate to return to the war they never started, and have enlisted their mixed-heritage children as an army to help them fight the Bickyplots: thirteen shambling horrors with colonial inspirations of their own.  Here the written word is magic, and a new declaration might undo everything, but what of the children who have fought and journaled so hard to build their own lives?  Find out in this, the second of the Declaration duology.  (Here’s the first!)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 30 minutes)

(estimated reading time for entire novel: 6 hours)

Declaration

Gibberish Mire

by

Blaine Arcade

From the Bickering Hall Retroactive Deed

In finding this land most hospitable we, the Bickyplots of Bickering Hall, must conclude that such a plainly-stated welcome indicates an intrinsic desire for proper mastery and dominion. So it is that we declare, on the standard of the furthest distance that can be spied by the tallest amongst us, Impestle Hissmidge, allowed the luxury of tippied-toe, all of this land surrounding our port of entry is called Evidentia and is our sole property. Continue reading

Declaration: Pilgrim’s Anchor (finale)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 37 minutes)

Correspondence for Proposed Prisoner Exchange

More weeks had passed, Fool’s Gold Floyd as diligent a calendar as his many other functions. The date was December 11th, which meant the Stoking Dramas were now just three days away. After that would come the first blizzard of Pursuitia’s aggressive winter, blanketing the ground in penetrating permafrost that could claim all a man’s toes before he could take as many steps.

If the blizzard came and Blueberry was still incarcerated then she would be riding out the entire winter with the Bickyplots, who would themselves not dare to leave Bickering Hall the entire time but for the briefest and most vital of errands. The fiends would grow bored, then cajole Chattelpool into breaking out his favorite pet for them to play games with in the torture dungeon-cum-gaming hall they undoubtedly possessed. Continue reading

Declaration: Pilgrim’s Anchor (part four)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 7 minutes)

Log of Two Hundred and Forty some Severed Personalities

The company’s retreat could’ve been five times as raucous, the giant Franklin kite could’ve struck shrieking sharpsychords instead of Bickyplots, and Private Blueberry still would not have heard it. Partly this was sheer focus, the narrowing of her perception so that it excluded everything from the bigger battle to the breath whistling out her own nose, so that all she heard was the pitter-thump-patter and scrabbling tooth scratching of Bludgehaven’s heart across the wooden floors deep within Bickering Hall.

Also contributing was the labyrinth of chambers, causing even sound to lose its way. Half the rooms had purposes she couldn’t guess. Interior balconies overlooking nothing. Hot coal floors with uneven rake marks. A sauna of yellow clouds and what might have been chunks of vegetables floating through them, suggesting it was a gas of soup not water. Doors boarded up, painted over, clutter piled in front, terrible, angry, living noises piled behind. Continue reading