Captain Rob Sinks: Part Two

Enough Stock for Soup

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Veer Keystonr could not see much of anything from his place at the bottom of the lifeboat.  He could only trade information with the other bodiless members of the Calcitheater Rob had rescued.  (Blaine’s Note: Veer is a skull we mentioned earlier, recognizable by the iron crown bonded to his head.  He tutored Alast in arithmetic when he first joined the crew.  In fleshed life he was a human ledger, and his memory for numbers seems to have only improved since then.) Continue reading

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Captain Rob Sinks: Part One

By

Blaine Arcade (in a sense)

The Second of Four Bathroom Breaks

As a child not quite out of diapers yet, did you ever have the fear that the toilet would suck you down into it and you would drown or be crushed, or both, in its pipes?  I didn’t, but I’ve heard people say things like that.  It’s always a joke; they’re always reflecting on how dumb they were, how frightening new things are, and how a toilet might carry with it all the fears associated with water in general.  If you showed one to a small animal it would just think of it as another place it could potentially drink or drown.

I didn’t have those fears, but I struggle with them now as an adult.  I have a legitimate reason, though not one you are likely to believe.  As the heading of this section says, I’ll be talking about the second of four things.  The proper place to start is the first, so if you haven’t read my first, I suppose you could call it an account, I encourage you to do so.  It will be much easier to follow along that way.  The first one is called Captain Rob Fights, and it can probably be found near wherever you found this one. Continue reading

Porce Compendium

Intro

This text is a handy field guide to the water closet world of Porce.  Porce is an entire world that used to be a human public bathroom.  Its peoples and creatures are tiny, but it has a lengthy history and rich culture all its own.  This small additional text is meant to further one’s understanding of Porce’s peoples, animals, landmarks, important objects, culture, plants, food, and history.  It contains many minor story details for my Captain Rob novel series, so be wary that you might run into things that slightly spoil their stories for you.

This will be updated over time, so please ignore any blank entries. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Rightmost Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Rightmost’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:34:55.8)

Bombi noticed the scratches she’d left in the clouds with her left hand were deeper than those of her right.  In her panic that suggested she feared the left pathway.  Hesitation would only bring her closer to not going at all, to staying with the cloudfeet, to laughing and dancing until she starved and they rolled her off the side like a sack of garbage. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Leftmost Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Leftmost’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:34:55.8)

Bombi noticed the scratches she’d left in the clouds with her left hand were deeper than those of her right.  In her panic that suggested she was already more committed to the left pathway.  Hesitation would only bring her closer to not going at all, to staying with the cloudfeet, laughing and dancing until she starved and they rolled her off the side like a sack of garbage. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Wreck Everything Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Wreck Everything’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:53:46.2)

She might never have another moment like this, with a bastion of authority frozen at her fingertips.  Here was proof of the rigidity of every rule that had forced her to live as a creature of the background.  Even with her dramatically arched metal eyebrows and stern expression, Champion Iuda still looked complacent. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Desk Throne Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Desk Throne’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:53:46.2)

“Too rigid to rule!” Bombi screamed at the faces of the Win State while they couldn’t scream back.  “Everything has to be one way doesn’t it?  And it’s your one way because you’re part of the one way!  Damn you!”  She wanted to keep screaming, she wanted that more than anything, just a chance to burn out loud after suppressing herself for so long, but there wasn’t time. Continue reading