Flava & Froognard
Designation: the CROSS FOX & FLYING FOX cillimorphs
Group: MAMMALISH
Native Biomes: PLANET WOODZY & PLANET BOLDERO
Size: SMALL
Interesting Facts: Flava’s wings are really only good for gliding, but by the time it’s a Froognard it can carry a fruit twice its size on the fly, which it will use to build awkwardly-shaped, sticky, and yet delicious nests.
Begoneg & Begonegoneg
Designation: the FRIED EGG JELLYFISH cillimorphs
Group: COLONIAL
Native Biomes: PLANET SCORCHER & PLANET SPLISHY
Size: SMALL & MEDIUM
Interesting Facts: Sticking to shallows to absorb as much sizzling sun as possible, these aquatic morphs are nevertheless usually hot to the touch. Begonegoneg vents excess steam with all the little mouths on its yolk towers, which sounds like satisfied sighs.
Ladeebug & Ladahbug
Designation: the RHYTHM GAME & LADYBUG cillimorphs
Group: SEGMENTED
Native Biomes: CYBERSPACE & OUTER SPACE
Size: SMALL
Interesting Facts: Gathering both data and cosmic rays, Ladeebug uses them as inspiration to make music whereas Ladahbug compacts them into discs delivered rhythmically to the mouth along the antennae-rack, cutting out the middleman of artistic intent to just have a snack as nourishment instead.
Hey folks, I’ve lightly re-edited the first of my Justice Backers series, which are novellas and novelettes about a team of crowdfunded superheroes told mostly as digital epistolary. I’ve worked up another crummy cover to go on the series too. As with all my work they’re free to read in full, so please give them a shot if it sounds interesting.
(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 1 minute)
Ingest the Ass
“Say, what’s that I hear? My garden, ever so square as I am, used to be so peaceful, but now there’s all this noise from amorphous demons beyond our ken. I hope they can’t bother my sprinkleberries. Used to have bulletmelons too, but God went and tore that strip away; now I’ll never see them again.
Mustn’t criticize. The world doesn’t belong to me, with my paltry four corners. In fact, I must do more than avoid criticism. I’m supposed to be listening, those were my heptagon priest’s instructions. What was it? Continue reading
(estimated reading time: 1 hour)
Work the Ass
“I could give it a good jab,” Elizabug proposed, this time feasible despite that being her suggestion for most things: part of the philosophy that if a problem couldn’t be solved with a prodding stick or a whacking stick it couldn’t be solved at all and was better treated as a feature of the natural landscape.
“No no,” Darnette said as they both stood just out of its reach. When it extended its claws that reach was increased, forcing them to take another step away from the hole in the wall they hoped to be their portal into the main convention hall of Stained Atlas. “A hungry cat with this many prospective meals about will be an impatient creature. Give him a moment; he’ll grow bored of not murdering us and wander away.” Continue reading
(estimated reading time: 27 minutes)
Flaunt the Ass
Tropical Lilliputian air pervaded the convention center, for its massive walls weren’t built all the way up. There was a ceiling of hollow glass oblongs to keep out the rain, but it was supported only at corners, leaving a gap for local atmosphere to pour in like waterfalls. The flaw was called intentional, excused as a way of promoting a breeze and dispelling the sweat-fog of war, when in truth the actual cause was a disparity between the construction company’s claims and the Lilliputian labor force’s ability.
An auction had been held for the convention’s location, and Lilliput’s winning bid was achieved by cutting corners in the venue budget. A Lilliputian could be paid in peanut dust, a Blefuscan even less, so hiring thousands upon thousands of them still took far fewer resources than hiring big people. Continue reading
In the barn-city of Minimil, small creatures from all across the literary canon live as one people, from Lilliputians and Shakespearean fairies to myrmidons, homunculi, and Wonderlanders. Their lives are tenuous, valuable as they are as pieces in the proxy game of Little Wars, where conscripting countries can use them to spill thimbles of blood rather than buckets.
A decade into the Little Wars era, the largest convention ever is about to occur on Lilliput. Among the arriving ships is the candle boat Wicky Sticket out of Minimil, carrying a secret cargo of agents sent to interfere with the Hidden Body, an ethereal nation of traitors making big moves in the littlest and most deadly game. And behind it all the ancient slumberers toss and turn.
This is the middle of The Challenge Obscene, the second novella trilogy of the Challenging universe. It’s best to start with the first, which can be found here: The Challenging Handful, The Left Challenging Handful, and Challenging Applause. The first part of this trilogy is Challenging Cock.
(estimated reading time: 30 minutes)
The Challenge Obscene
Challenging Ass
by
Blaine Arcade
Bear the Ass
Your fate is determined not by deck underfoot, but waters beneath it.
When a stranger is met at the chessboard, analyze their first move: how they greet you.
Beware the world’s largest candle boat, which is Charon’s ferry for half its passengers.
-Noozy Cornerlore
Frustrated at her own inflexibility, the Lilliputian woman who had just signed her name ripped it out of her custom-made elongated typewriter and crumpled it into a ball, tossing it over her shoulder into a similar pile, a pile casually chewed and ruminated upon by a group of milling donkeys she was supposed to watch over more attentively. The animals were interested because the long strips of paper still smelled like the mild cookies they were stored near: the only stock she had access to at that point. Her new employer, the newspaper called Minimil Minutes, would grant her supplies more in line with her position as a journalist, but only after she’d completed and turned in her first big story to an approving editor. Continue reading
Jackscream & Typhoonator
Designation: the STYMPHALIAN BIRD & SWORD OF DAMOCLES cillimorphs
Group: BIRDISH
Native Biomes: PLANET URBANIAK & OUTER SPACE
Size: SMALL & MEDIUM
Interesting Facts: Their feathers have a metallic coating for streamlining and defense. Jackscreams often engage in dogfights with their spiky pinions and spark-spitting wing engines. Typhoonators never land and use their single tail feather as a targeting lens for long range attacks.
Ggeeet & Furnagasp
Designation: the EGG EATER SNAKE & CHIMNEY cillimorphs
Group: REPTOPHIBIAN
Native Biomes: PLANET BRRR & PLANET URBANIAK
Size: SMALL & MEDIUM
Blaine Arcade 