Declaration: Gibberish Mire (Part One)

The signing of the United States Declaration of Independence… has gone awry!  As it so happens the declaration was too powerfully worded, and effectively declared independence from the realm of Earth.  The signing founders, and those legally considered their property, and a Native American tribe roped in as well thanks to an old treaty, have been transported to a strange new land where trees write upon their own leaves and owl-eyed worms march about in the shapes of men.

Twenty years on the Founders are desperate to return to the war they never started, and have enlisted their mixed-heritage children as an army to help them fight the Bickyplots: thirteen shambling horrors with colonial inspirations of their own.  Here the written word is magic, and a new declaration might undo everything, but what of the children who have fought and journaled so hard to build their own lives?  Find out in this, the second of the Declaration duology.  (Here’s the first!)

(estimated reading time: 1 hour, 30 minutes)

(estimated reading time for entire novel: 6 hours)

Declaration

Gibberish Mire

by

Blaine Arcade

From the Bickering Hall Retroactive Deed

In finding this land most hospitable we, the Bickyplots of Bickering Hall, must conclude that such a plainly-stated welcome indicates an intrinsic desire for proper mastery and dominion. So it is that we declare, on the standard of the furthest distance that can be spied by the tallest amongst us, Impestle Hissmidge, allowed the luxury of tippied-toe, all of this land surrounding our port of entry is called Evidentia and is our sole property. Continue reading

Touchadile & Voxelsox

Touchadile&Voxelsox

Touchadile & Voxelsox

Designation: the BOX TURTLE & VOXEL cillimorphs

Group: REPTOPHIBIAN

Native Biomes: CYBERSPACE & OUTER SPACE

Size: SMALL

Interesting Facts: Touchadile can watch six different signals on its interior screens, which others can watch from the outside. Sometimes its head stays locked away for years at a time, rarely even changing the channel. Voxelsox can disassemble its shell into cubes that can be endlessly rearranged.

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Silcraft & Lunafroth

Silcraft & Lunafroth

Designation: the CORACLE & LUNAR MOTH cillimorphs

Group: SEGMENTED

Native Biomes: PLANET SPLISHY & OUTER SPACE

Size: SMALL

Interesting Facts: Silcraft weaves its own coracle and paddle to traverse great expanses, rarely looking away from various moons. As an imago its both its wing shape and the power of its gravity-altering tidal wing beats are affected by the phases of its favorite moon.

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Boggold & Gobyscope

Boggold & Gobyscope

Designation: the BUBBLE-EYE GOLDFISH & WATER TELESCOPE cillimorphs

Group: FISHY

Native Biomes: PLANET BRRR & OUTER SPACE

Size: SMALL & MEDIUM

Interesting Facts: Boggold’s big eyes are further enhanced by a pair of icy contact lenses, giving it the power to look out from the waters of Brrr to see if it wants to go anywhere in particular in space, or vice versa. Gobyscope’s lenses are upgraded to an ice telescope with a water lens that can see outside the system, but it’s so heavy that it often lists to one side and sends the morph rolling.

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Lammerbrat, Norgeier, & Valgeier

Lammerbrat, Norgeier, & Valgeier

Designation: the LAMMERGEIER, VIKING, & VALKYRIE cillimorphs

Group: BIRDISH

Native Biomes: PLANET BOLDERO & OUTER SPACE

Size: SMALL

Interesting Facts: The adults have complementary roles in their sexual dimorphism, with Norgeier shaping their wings and feathers into axes and shields for territorial battles. When they get too tired, a Valgeier descends from space and whisks them away to a place of recovery.

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Boneclubba & Bonecutta

Boneclubba & Bonecutta

Designation: the CUTTLE BONE cillimorphs

Group: Spineless

Native Biomes: PLANET SCORCHER & OUTER SPACE

Size: SMALL & MEDIUM

Interesting Facts: Boneclubba’s bony shell allows it to go inert outside of water and in extreme temperatures for long periods. Bonecuttas figure out how to convert it into reaping blades, but don’t have much to cut in space or the desert, so sometimes they’re seen chasing around frightened grower morphs trying to give them a haircut.

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Shuga & Funnycomb

Shuga & Funnycomb

Designation: the WILD HONEYCOMB cillimorphs

Group: COLONIAL

Native Biomes: PLANET WOODZY

Size: SMALL

Interesting Facts: Shuga gathers honey and stores it in hexagonal cells it can detach and leave as gifts, or as insults if it was a bad batch. Funnycomb tries to gather as many different wild honeys as possible, trekking endlessly form hive to hive in search of new shades and flavors.

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Beenbag & Grunestalk

Beenbag & Grunestalk

Designation: the MAGIC BEANS & GIANT BEANSTALK cillimorphs

Group: GROWER

Native Biomes: PLANET SPLISHY & PLANET BOLDERO

Size: SMALL & LARGE

Interesting Facts: Beenbag forages for whimsical residue of silliness fields, cultivating them inside its bag until they ferment to a cloud-like consistency. Grunestalk hides its incredible height inside these gathered materials, creating an endless portal between floating clouds.

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Glowl & Ireharp

Glowl & Ireharp

Designation: the EAGLE OWL cillimorphs

Group: BIRDISH

Native Biomes: PLANET BOLDERO

Size: SMALL & MEDIUM

Interesting Facts: It’s long been a myth that these morphs are supposed to be nocturnal, but they come out during the day anyway just to glare at you. Ireharp’s crest feathers allow it to fly effectively even with its head turned all the way around.

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Herrdunnit & Redhended

Herrdunnit & Redhended

Designation: the RED HERRING cillimorphs

Group: FISHY

Native Biomes: CYBERSPACE

Size: SMALL & MEDIUM

Interesting Facts: Shifty and definitely up to something, except that they never are. It’s those dastardly dark web shadows always following them around who are the true culprits of any nearby schemes. Symbiotic cryptomorphs? Animated digital footprints? Who knows, but they do seem to vanish in dead zones, leaving their accompanying patsies high and dry.

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