christianity

Jesus has the Wheels

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

(reading time: 25 minutes)

Jesus has the Wheels

by

Blaine Arcade

It was rare to see such a nice car in Watershed, and even rarer to see one driving with purpose, never stopping once for the driver to swear at their GPS until it got them out of that mosquito-infested and mosquito-invested bog that called itself a town.

Tom knew cars, on account of a few years working as a mechanic, and he couldn’t recall if he’d ever even worked on such a fine piece of machinery. He expected it to drive on by, as nobody sitting in that sort of thing could have any business with him, but it stopped, for the first time in days, at the foot of his gravel driveway. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Christmas Eve Finale

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 18 minutes)

On the Twenty-fourth Day

Without scavenging for dead things in her backyard each day, Marzipan’s stockpile of sacrifices had run dry. She ended up picking some friend chicken bones out of the trash, the remains of Mom’s dinner the previous night. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Twenty-three

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 16 minutes)

On the Twenty-third Day

Though they didn’t care whether or not they ruined Saint Bernardino, both Marzipan and Langcorn were fully committed to the last two legs of their journey. They wanted Christmas eve to be an emergency day in case anything went wrong, so they decided to take a risk and hopefully save nearly a day of travel on door number twenty-three. They each, during that morning in their respective eras, took up a nail and attacked the tiny door frame on their calendar. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Twenty-two

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 10 minutes)

On the Twenty-second Day

Marzipan’s decision to wear her blue otter dress to the tree on every remaining day immediately backfired. It made her stick out so much that they caught the attention of one Saint Bernardino, who had been hunting them for a few days now. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Twenty-one

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 9 minutes)

On the Twenty-first Day

Virdihorn had done just as he said. Upon opening their scratched doors, despite small splinters falling away, they both emerged back onto the snowy boughs of the upper tree. Moonlight ruled the day of the solstice, and there wasn’t another soul to be found anywhere. It seemed this was a year where no men made it that far, that the goddess would spend alone if not for the two visiting calendars. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Twenty

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 13 minutes)

On the Twentieth Day

The next day the snow fell even heavier, but only in patches. It wasn’t fresh, merely banks from the day before being disturbed and tumbling to branches below. Marzipan and Langcorn dodged the clumps as they fell, running through battened down saint streets winding through the boughs. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Nineteen

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 10 minutes)

On the Nineteenth Day

The tree had been mostly green during their visits. They thought the blizzard they’d trudged through with Saint Defendens’s wolves was localized, either magically summoned and kept there or a storm that roamed between branches the way a hurricane might alligator crawl across a coast before dying. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Eighteen

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 13 minutes)

On the Eighteenth Day

The saints and pagans alike breathed easy that day. Several of the more paranoid were poised to trick, assault, or threaten the visitors if they had to, but Marzipan and Langcorn never made it past the hall of Saint Perpetuus. Instead they simply stood in the middle of it, having some sort of argument, until they both left, but, curiously, it was through the same door this time. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Seventeen

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 13 minutes)

On the Seventeenth Day

They were hoping to see some giant birds, as that was what one would assume lived inside a giant bird’s nest, but it had fallen out of use. The closest thing they could find were shards of speckled eggshell. It looked as if it should have been filled with cobwebs, but the pagan spiders of the tree probably had cozy little homes of their own, perhaps palm-sized cottages hanging from single threads like ornaments. Continue reading →

Twenty-four Days of Ringworm and Religion: Day Sixteen

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to what is likely your first advent calendar fantasy novel!  Each day is a chapter, and should be read as such, but who am I to stop you from catching up? (This way to Day One!)  What follows is the story of one Marzipan Ridner, a young trans girl aching for the fulfillment of the holiday season.  When a mysterious wooden Advent calendar shows up she opens the first door, and finds herself whisked away to a world-tree of contrasting deities and binding bureaucracy.  She has less than a month to find someone willing to be her spiritual patron, but the denizens of the tree don’t seem very hospitable…

(reading time: 16 minutes)

On the Sixteenth Day

A portion of the tree was dyed deeply red, making it visible from a great distance. Marzipan and Langcorn journeyed there to learn what caused it, finding the Diocese of Bloodletting, a magnificent stone building, the exterior of which was covered in large sluices that ran crimson with a seemingly endless flow of the Chrismon Tree’s blood. Continue reading →