Juicy Stardrop (Part One)

Y2K threatened to destroy the world, all computers to go mad when the year ticked over to 2000, but a solution was found! Now the nineties play over and over again, and things just keep getting better! The guns are off the streets, the ozone hole is patched, the cops are tough on drugs, and competitive recycling is the number one sport in the world.

Life should’ve been perfect for one of its star players, Joey ‘Kanga’ Reuben, but after his best friend was taken from him in the middle of a match he could think of nothing else. It was all the work of those superhuman terrorists, the dastardly Millennials…

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A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Competitive Recycling in the Fifth 1990s

by

Blaine Arcade

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With a robotically chauffeured limousine and enough free soda to raise the Titanic from the depths, nobody could call it a young man’s average Friday night. It was to be the fantastic Friday night characteristic of the reborn Rockford Rendezvous, and this trial run would culminate with the latest tour stop of the sexiest and most fashionable hologram to ever grace the stage and the drifting dust in the beams of the spotlight. Continue reading

Blaine’s Book Blurbs

In doing a little reorganizing around here I realized I don’t have blurbs up for my work.  I’m adding them in order to put my best foot forward, and collecting them here in this post along with links to the work.

Please give them a read, and if any of my speculative fiction nonsense sounds interesting you can check out the whole works here and free of charge.  This post is all my novels and my gamebook, with novella blurbs and short story descriptions found here.

Labor of Ruby and Pearl

A pact struck in the distant future, after mankind has colonized dozens of worlds and diversified into engineered subspecies, saw the death of guns and missiles.  With the new stigma of ‘farcoward’ weapons comes a return of the sword, shield, and bow.

Dana Rudolph is a grumpy travel writer hopping world to world, keeping to himself until date of publishing, when he is pulled into a vast, and surprisingly icky, conspiracy where he must do his best to protect the ‘appearl’, an anomalous learning gem that formed on its own inside a supercomputer.

Follow him and his sword as he teams up with an amazon and a leprechaun to dismantle the supposedly divine, forcing him to confront his traumatic past. Continue reading

The Captain Rob Series

This is just a quick post to talk about my newly completed epic-comedic high fantasy book series: Captain Rob.  It’s been a long time and a lot of work, but I’m happy with how it turned out.

The story follows a crew of pirates in their magical world that just so happens to be… a gigantic public restroom.  If you would like you can join the sink swashbucklers in their fight against monsters and bathroom puns here, and free of charge.  Here are some links to each book, starting with the first.

Captain Rob Fights

Captain Rob Sinks

Captain Rob Robs

Captain Rob Deals

Give them a shot if you’re bored and like fiction that’s pretty out there.

Captain Rob Deals (Finale)

(back to part one)

The Deal

The entrance to Peako Dagyvr’s workshop, deep in the stony crevasse of Crosstahl, was sealed off in a most unusual manner. The original door was gone, its frame filled by uneven stones that were held together by a bright, almost luminous, blue adhesive. This barrier had a weak spot, an eye drifting in the adhering slime, but it kept on the interior side. That meant it had to watch everything happening within, occasionally dodging a dagger as it was tossed across the chamber. Continue reading

Captain Rob Deals (Part Six)

(back to part one)

Age of Tragedy

The Captain still expected to thwart more would-be assassins, but his next trip to Platone was peaceful. If only the same could be said for the contents of that trip. He embraced Vyra again, and they walked along a new edge as the ekapads came to crackling life. A new ringing tone played, its shattering volume nothing compared to the godly words that used Vyra’s throat as vessel. The Age of Wonder was lost to time, most of its revelations new to Rob, but the time that followed, the Age of Tragedy, contained some tales that were all too familiar. Continue reading

Captain Rob Deals (Part Five)

(back to part one)

Age of Wonder

A concert of Platone lit up the night sky in shocking red and swollen purple. Akers stampeded across its face in lightning arcs like blazing stars fired from bows. The din and its associated powers were enough to kill a lightfolk in three different ways, but Vyra was protected by the divine powers of Hesprid, and her prosite stowaway by the same from Qorcneas. There was a bubble around them that the lightning broke up against, sizzling across its surface like fuzzy seeds tumbling down a rock face. Continue reading