Blaine’s Novelette Blurbs

If you don’t know me, I’m Blaine Arcade, a speculative fiction writing hobbyist, and I write lots of out-there science fiction, fantasy, science fantasy, and some horror.  All of my stories are available here and free to read, so please check them out if you’re interested.  Happy reading!

Big-Saw-in-Law

Glassy eyes, gaping mouths, matted fur…  Sports mascots are supposed to be fun, but if you see them in the wrong light you can feel a jolt of fear.  What if they weren’t just a joke, as alive as anything else, with their own instincts and hungers? Continue reading

Brawny Blue Blerkafeld

The beast Blerkafeld is one of the mightiest dragons, and even more conceited.  After pilfering magics of time and space he has built his own little pocket world, pulling people from all over the Middle Ages to be his loyal worshipers.  The only problem is, one of these groups is secretly a Renaissance fair…

(reading time: 1 hour, 36 minutes)

Brawny Blue Blerkafeld

by

Blaine Arcade

The beast of Kidnapt Valley

Four waterfalls marked the center of the cavern’s many tunnels and chambers. The place was most curious, as the passageways looked naturally formed, the walls porous and uneven, but its layout was certainly the work of intelligence. Each fall was like a curtain separating four identical tunnels from each other.

By unknown force, one fall’s flow ceased just as a cluster of four people reached it, letting them view the rising column of the central shaft. They dared not step over the wet line in the dirt; their invitation had warned them not to do so. Continue reading

The Field Guide to Fantasy Birding (for enthusiasts only)

In the world of bird watching competition can be intense, sometimes even deadly, sometimes even magical.  There are birds you can’t see unless you devote your life to seeing them, and a few are in this short story with an aesthetic best described as ‘birdwatchingpunk’.

(reading time: 43 minutes)

The Field Guide to Fantasy Birding

(for enthusiasts only)

by

Blaine Arcade

NAME: boreal chickadee (Poecile hudsonicus) download

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: a four to six inch bird which may weigh as much as an ounce. Gray wings and a brown streak across the head are the most common features, but the easiest way to identify it is by its white face with gray patches at the sides. It also has short wings and a short dark bill.

DIET: feeds mostly on seeds and insects by probing in bark and across the forest floor. It favors wood beetle larvae most highly.

RANGE: Maine, Vermont, Alaska, Canada, and New York. Migration happens quickly, with hundreds of miles traveled in just a few days.

BEHAVIOR: not picky when it comes to choosing a mate, though they will often mate for life. Boreal chickadees rarely build their own nests, instead choosing to occupy the abandoned efforts of other birds like the woodpecker. Only one egg is laid, its size surprising given the diminutive creatures that produced it.

To nearly every person who looked at the amateurishly-produced paper it was just a page out of a field guide, a work in progress at best, something to keep an old lonely man busy. Even his family members would not have recognized it for what it was, because they, even the widower’s children, didn’t recognize him for what he was. Continue reading

Eyelids of an Aristocrat

Everett finds himself trapped underground, prisoner of a most peculiar family, missing their sanity as well as a few other pieces…

(reading time: 54 minutes)

Eyelids of an Aristocrat

by

Blaine Arcade

Overboard

This account exists, in various lengths, a hundred times over, and the world over at that too. I suspect this will be the longest version of it, and the most difficult to stuff in a bottle or box, but I’m going to bury it the deepest as well. It brings me joy to imagine the sense of reward of reading it to be directly proportional to the effort put in to acquire it. Continue reading

Mary Annette’s Big and Beautiful Dog and Pony Show

(reading time: 51 minutes)

Somewhere in the enchanting space between dinner theater and the wild west, performer Madrigal Mora finally gets his shot to use that ol’ dirt-kicking magic, but the owner has seen fit to cast him as the villain…

Mary Annette’s

BIG

and

BEAUTIFUL

Dog and Pony Show

by

Blaine Arcade

Voice 1: Alright Miss, I think we’re ready for a trial run. Can I take you through it one more time?

Voice 2: Sure thing Sugar. Continue reading

Feisty Faustus Ferret in “Machine Works”

Inky animated stars make the world smile with their films and theme parks, and none are better known than Feisty Faustus Ferret.  Everything is perfect for our plucky little weasel with the train whistle voice, until someone insists he needs a costar, and the ground under his hallowed studios and parks starts to rumble…

(reading time: 1 hour, 39 minutes)

feisty credits

feisty fancy

It is notoriously difficult to hear, the voice of creation.  The mind naturally listens for it at all the wrong times.  It expects to hear god singing when a flower blooms, or when a child is born, or when lovers embrace.  The mind looks out when it must look in.  The voice of creation comes from within man.  It is when her or his creations are born that it can be heard. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Sellout Fortress

Author’s Note: This short story is a continuation of my Justice Backers novellas, about a team of crowdfunded superheroes.  If you wish to read this and fully understand what is going on, I would recommend checking those out first.  They can be found in the novellas tab; here’s a link to the beginning of the first one.  Okay, commencing with the actual story…

(reading time: 1 hour, 53 minutes)

Conferencepod.com Private Chatroom #8024430

Herocious: Is everybody in here?  Can we get a roll call?

TheFastestFood: In the house.

DroneCrone: Present.

Telephony: Here.

AmericanFlare: Here

BottleRocketeer: Here

Herocious: So we’re just missing Advocate?  Is she here? Continue reading

The End Times were Published in 1979

A young lonely man distracts himself from his woes by collecting, hoarding in the eyes of others, vintage science fiction and fantasy publications, but there’s something moving around in his stacks, taunting him, demanding he reveal where he has hidden one very specific story…

(reading time: 1 hour, 7 minutes)

THE APOPALYPSE!

EVERY KERNEL A WEAPON OF INCREDIBLE POWER!

The world rejoiced when Dr. Kimberly Goldenrod invented Mannapop, her patented genetically-tinkered super corn that could grow in the harshest environments.  World hunger was all but solved as her genius took root across the globe and fed a generation.  Its kernels were as big as beach balls… and flavorful too!  The delicious miracle so distracted everyone that they didn’t notice it growing in every corner, every empty lot, every forest, and even between the kelp on the ocean floor. Continue reading

Phages of the Free Radical

In a distant dimension where inner and outer space are one and the same, cell-like beings must abandon their lung-like planet before it is struck by wandering debris.  One among them is not what they seem, entranced by the dancing fluids inside each of them, hungry to understand it…

(reading time: 1 hour, 31 minutes)

I do not grant you permission to see this lightly, but I tire of your begging and pleading.  I have real work to do.  If you want to waste your time, go ahead; I won’t stop you.  I guess you’ve proven I can’t anyway.

Put it back when you’re done, as if nobody ever touched it. Continue reading

Devilheart Diamond

The Krampus visited him once, as a boy, as a warning, so why would it return now, years later?  Why make an example of him at the most extravagant party he has ever attended, at the magnificent mansion of his long lost friend…

(reading time: 1 hour, 13 minutes)

Devilheart Diamond

Nice

“Tell me how to say it again,” Archie Vinpipe pleaded, mostly to distract from the rattling of the dark carriage.  Nothing but a pair of lanterns illuminated the surrounding forest.  The moon was hidden by dark clouds that continued to pour snow as they had for nearly two days.  Their driver was only able to press forward because of the trail left by the other guests and the excellent breeding stock of the four reindeer pulling the vehicle.  The way the driver told it, they were no more than nine generations from Prancer himself and could, when properly motivated, run several inches off the ground. Continue reading