Chat Lib #6: Sins of the Lava Boys

Chat Libs is a ‘Mad Libs’ based activity over on our Twitch live stream.  The audience suggests a scenario, I write a story template with missing words, and they fill in the holes.  Hilarity ensues.  If you wish to participate you can join us at

Scenario: the cowboys agree to never talk about what just happened

So it’s agreed,” the tone deaf cowboy said, whispering so all those over by proxima centauri wouldn’t hear. It was a miracle they hadn’t noticed the blood of their enemies coating all 89 cowboys. They were all wide-eyed and in shock; none of them had ever seen a reaction like that from what was supposed to be a fully domesticated cyborg.

Sure, there were whispers of an angry dictionary that could do something like that, Old Lady Jasper XXIV had faced one once, but that required a voodoo incantation. Sunburned Hank had a fancy college degree in 90’s cartoons, but even he didn’t believe such a tremendous amount of fancy underwear could be produced.

We need to get out of here; we can wash ourselves with lava,” Samuel suggested, nervously wringing his fingerless gloves. They all nodded stylishly, huddling up and tiptoeing behind the nearest building. Washing up took a month of Sundays, but once they were all done they needed to set down the terms of the secret.

We can’t tell anybody, no exceptions,” Robert smoke-signaled.

Wait, what If I want to tell my skeleton? It always has good advice.”

No!” they hissed in unison.

I’m going have to gently slap my diary,” Samuel said, “just to make sure. There will be no stories written about us or this mess. We need to fire amulet swear. Everybody put your fire amulets in the circle.” A few of them were nervous, but they eventually agreed. Their unscented pact was made.

No intelligent grain of sea salt would ever hear about their milquetoast misadventure with the idiotic friend. Not a soul, except for all those hearing this right now.

Damn it all to Howl’s moving castle!” Robert exclaimed, tossing his laser torch on the ground and stomping it to smithereens.

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