Justice Backers: The Lichen Calls (Finale)

(reading time: 1 hour)

Monkey Girl Diary #494

(transcribed from video log)

Hello backers.  I have much to say about.  Yesterday was the day I did something about the depression.  I asked for help.

The Bay was very quiet; it was like this since the tar sands.  We train and eat in silence.  Alpha Dog mumbled about the Lichen and Pawn and Transplant and Drill Baby.  I have seen people do the dying before, but not like Baby.  I knew that Pawn have some darkness inside him, but I did not think he would ever let it go.  Maybe a little escaped every time his body broke.  I cannot say if the same thing would happen to me.  I just want them to be alright.  I want all of this to go away, but the world is calling for their blood. Continue reading

Justice Backers: The Lichen Calls (Part Three)

(reading time: 56 minutes)

JordanJaded’s Top Ten Weirdest Justice Backer Moments


With all this Drill Baby and Lichen drama going on, everybody’s been asking their favorite blogger (and when they don’t answer they ask me) what they think the Justice Backers should do in this situation.  I’ve always been pro-backer myself, but more as a sideshow and fuel for my writing than legitimate sociological experiment.  Everyone’s having a field day posting their listicles and things, but I haven’t seen this one go up yet so I’m going to try and squeeze it in there.  I didn’t bother to do a poll or anything since most of you are here for my opinion anyway.  This is just a list of what I think are some of the top conversation pieces that have come up because of the backers in the last few years.  I owe this coverage to them; without their shenanigans I never would’ve had anything to write about when I started this site three years ago.  Now I get like two million unique visitors a day!  These aren’t in any particular order except for number one, so let’s start the ride!  Starting with… Continue reading

Justice Backers: The Lichen Calls (Part Two)

(reading time: 50 minutes)

Monkey Girl Diary #488

(transcribed from video log)

Hello everybody.  We still not heard anything from Transplant or Pawn.  Dreamweaver is here with us; she is looking into our heads at night for signs of psychic badness.  To this point she has found nothing.  I think she is in my head right now, but I will not be sure until tonight.  If she is in here with me, I have some questions to ask her.

You see I am having a problem with my puppy… but it maybe just a problem with me instead.  When Alpha Dog gave Golden Boy and me our puppies we were very excited.  I name mine Honeydew and he name his Trophy.  Alpha Dog explained to us that the puppies have a program that makes them mimic their owner’s personality.  I think this a great idea, but it is hurting Honeydew.  I do not know if robots can be hurt, but it looks like Tin Soldier can and the puppies sometimes whimper so realistically. Continue reading

Justice Backers: The Lichen Calls (Part One)

(reading time: 45 minutes) (reading time for entire novella: 3 hours, 31 minutes)

Sportfish Independent Backer Update #14

(transcribed from video log)

Hello again friends and supporters.  Thanks to the mention I received in yesterday’s The Daily Pills, my donations are up sixty percent.  That means many of you watching this are new to the Sportfish program; I’m going to give a quick history lesson to catch you up.  If you’re a veteran at this point you can just click here and skip ahead to my big news.

If you’re wondering if my operation has any relation to the eastern and western superhero teams called the Justice Backers, the answer is yes.  The creator of that program, Alpha Dog, is my uncle.  About a year ago I flunked out of college.  I will not work retail.  I will not wait tables.  I will not make beds.  I will not sit at a desk and help people who don’t matter make appointments that don’t matter.  I am an adult human being in the twenty-first century and I refuse to let my life get flattened and paper-clipped that way. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Secret Shuffle (Finale)

(reading time: 54 minutes)

The following is a record anonymously donated to the Justice Backers by a member of the Gamedreamy staff.  Gamedreamy is an up and coming site where individuals livestream the playing of video games, board games, and card games.  Though Secret Shuffle is banned on their service, one individual managed to complete a stream of four whole games.  The individual in question often goes by the name Swagglerock69, a handle he regularly uses to harass members of the Justice Backers and their community. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Secret Shuffle (Part Three)

(reading time: 46 minutes)

Salt Shaker’s Skin-Crawling Fan Fiction Corner

The move to the Bay has derailed much of our lives.  Do.  Not.  Worry.  All of the fan fiction is intact.  Deckard and his goons might be able to stop us, maim us, kill us… but he cannot stop the power of socially awkward people intent on writing themselves into history as war heroes and legendary lovers. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Secret Shuffle (Part Two)

(reading time: 56 minutes)

Electric Eel Diary #29

(transcribed from video log)

Diary number twenty-nine without accidentally slipping on my own slime and killing myself during a mission.  Good work everybody.  Add another tally to the board.  Eventually I will at least slip; it’s inevitable.  I just hope that when I do I slide into a bad guy and knock him over so I can claim it was intentional. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Secret Shuffle (Part One)

(reading time: 49 minutes) (reading time for entire novella: 3 hours, 25 minutes)

Backer Update #51 (Game Over)

“With the inherent callousness of governments that try to care for more than seven billion people it is inevitable that some oil will need to slide between the pieces of the machine to keep us humane.  The Justice Backers are that oil.” – Ember Joseph, The Daily Pills

Do you like that beautiful quote backers?  That’s us they’re talking about.  In The Daily Pills!  The most read site among people who have a specific chair for reading.  This is actually the first positive quote we’ve gotten from anyone on their staff since we started.  That Donovan guy called us ‘vigilantes safeguarding only fetishized anonymity’.  Their head politics reporter Miriam said I was ‘a jumping-off point for campaign questions and nothing more’.  With how much the world talks about us it’s almost like I am something more.  It’s almost like the name Alpha Dog means something to people who happen to not be me. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Finale

(reading time: 52 minutes)

Golden Boy Diary #38

(transcribed from video log)

Hey guys.  Okay, so… I’m sure you’ve heard that some nasty stuff went down a little while ago and I just want to do my best to explain how I got caught up in it.  The first thing I want to say is that I’m very unhappy with the way it turned out and I’m doing everything I can to get it sorted out. Continue reading

Justice Backers: Part Three

(reading time: 39 minutes)

The following is an excerpt from the TI/preheroes forum on Thinkitch

G0bluefins83:  Hey is this a Justice Backers room?  You guys have a lot of the same tags.

SacredQueen:  Sort of.  I’m one of the mods.  My name’s Becky :).  We’re preheroes so a lot of us are really inspired by the Justice Backers.

G0bluefins83:  What’s a prehero?  I don’t mean to be ignorant but I’ve never heard of them. Continue reading