Captain Rob Sinks: Part Two

(reading time: 1 hour, 38 minutes)

Enough Stock for Soup

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Veer Keystonr could not see much of anything from his place at the bottom of the lifeboat. He could only trade information with the other bodiless members of the Calcitheater Rob had rescued. (Blaine’s Note: Veer is a skull we mentioned earlier, recognizable by the iron crown bonded to his head. He tutored Alast in arithmetic when he first joined the crew. In fleshed life he was a human ledger, and his memory for numbers seems to have only improved since then.)

It was Qliomatrok! Can you believe it?” one of them muttered. Continue reading

Captain Rob Sinks: Part One

(reading time: 1 hour, 23 minutes) (reading time for entire novel: 12 hours, 52 minutes)

By

Blaine Arcade (in a sense)

The Second of Four Bathroom Breaks

As a child not quite out of diapers yet, did you ever have the fear that the toilet would suck you down into it and you would drown or be crushed, or both, in its pipes? I didn’t, but I’ve heard people say things like that. It’s always a joke; they’re always reflecting on how dumb they were, how frightening new things are, and how a toilet might carry with it all the fears associated with water in general. If you showed one to a small animal it would just think of it as another place it could potentially drink or drown. Continue reading

Porce Compendium

Intro

This text is a handy field guide to the water closet world of Porce.  Porce is an entire world that used to be a human public bathroom.  Its peoples and creatures are tiny, but it has a lengthy history and rich culture all its own.  This small additional text is meant to further one’s understanding of Porce’s peoples, animals, landmarks, important objects, culture, plants, food, and history.  It contains many minor story details for my Captain Rob novel series, so be wary that you might run into things that slightly spoil their stories for you.

This will be updated over time, so please ignore any blank entries. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Rightmost Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Rightmost’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:34:55.8)

Bombi noticed the scratches she’d left in the clouds with her left hand were deeper than those of her right. In her panic that suggested she feared the left pathway. Hesitation would only bring her closer to not going at all, to staying with the cloudfeet, to laughing and dancing until she starved and they rolled her off the side like a sack of garbage.

She threw herself forward onto the rightmost windy way. Its surface proved extremely slick, immediately wetting the front of her clothes as the packed clouds had not. It bent under her weight, but did not break, angle steepening. Bombi passed straight through the next bank. An entire mountain range was suddenly there, gaping before her, yawning with a mighty airy sound. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Leftmost Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Leftmost’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:34:55.8)

Bombi noticed the scratches she’d left in the clouds with her left hand were deeper than those of her right.  In her panic that suggested she was already more committed to the left pathway.  Hesitation would only bring her closer to not going at all, to staying with the cloudfeet, laughing and dancing until she starved and they rolled her off the side like a sack of garbage. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Wreck Everything Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Wreck Everything’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:53:46.2)

She might never have another moment like this, with a bastion of authority frozen at her fingertips.  Here was proof of the rigidity of every rule that had forced her to live as a creature of the background.  Even with her dramatically arched metal eyebrows and stern expression, Champion Iuda still looked complacent. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Desk Throne Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Desk Throne’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:53:46.2)

Too rigid to rule!” Bombi screamed at the faces of the Win State while they couldn’t scream back. “Everything has to be one way doesn’t it? And it’s your one way because you’re part of the one way! Damn you!” She wanted to keep screaming, wanted that more than anything, a chance to burn out loud after suppressing herself for so long, but there wasn’t time.

She crawled up onto the desk, abandoning her bag of stolen goods to the floor so she could put a foot on each of the throne’s armrests and turn around, Iuda’s head between her legs. Then Bombi let herself drop, going as flat as she could, slipping behind Iuda’s back and forcing her forward. She kicked, toppling the woman from her throne and sending her rigid body rolling over the desk. Iuda disappeared over the side just as Bombi placed both hands on the rests, just as the cut scene ended. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (World Bottom Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘World Bottom’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:32:46.7)

Before Bombi’s mind caught up she was already in the air.  Her feet passed straight through the grassy patch while it was simply a patch.  It didn’t feel like water, dirt, or even a light breeze.  The ground just didn’t exist beyond what her eyes saw.  Nothingness opened up underneath, an endless expanse of white space, causing her to yelp and flail for purchase. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed run (Orchard Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Orchard’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:10:32:46.7)

Bombi practically glided forward, right past the flickering grass patch.  She moved into the tinkertree orchard, only stopping when her nose filled with the smell of wood chips, apples, glass, and machine oil.  It certainly was an interesting combination.  She turned to ask Morphib what he thought of it, but he was clearly enthralled by something else entirely. Continue reading

Through the Bottom of the World: A Choose-your-own-Speed Run (Shut Mouth Stratagem)

(Back to Start)

‘Shut Mouth’ Stratagem

(17:3:22:12:58:08.7)

“I’m pretty sure I heard several lies,” she offered.

“That’s… something,” Chagrinn said with a slight head tilt.  “You definitely can’t rely on this crowd to tell you the truth.  They are the competition after all.  No matter.  It’s time I prepare you for your first boss encounter.  Walk with me.”  Chagrinn took her by the shoulder and walked her around the glade, which he kept referring to as ‘the arena’. Continue reading