Rather Spartan

In this thriller/horror short story the Snake War Museum is just one of many, an opportunity for Claire to confront history.  It’s just her, the collection, and the audio guide… at least until she hears her own name in the headphones…

(reading time: 34 minutes)

Rather Spartan

by

Blaine Arcade

If a museum does its job well, its physical location in the world is inconsequential. The best place for the George Washington museum might be his birthplace, Westmoreland County, Virginia, but the best museum would be the one that had his actual shoes, his actual buttons, his actual tools, his actual quills and inks, wherever they were, even if the collection was accidentally shipped to, say, Ulverstone, Tasmania. Continue reading

Blaine’s Short Story Blurbs

Well, they aren’t quite blurbs, given that these stories are, you know, short, but now that we’ve got descriptions for our books and novellas available, it’s time to move onto these.

If you don’t know me, I’m Blaine Arcade, a speculative fiction writing hobbyist, and I write lots of out-there science fiction, fantasy, science fantasy, and some horror.  All of my stories are available here and free to read, so please check them out if you’re interested.  Happy reading!

Jesus has the Wheels

Jesus has come to town in his big black SUV.  He says it’s time for the rapture.  The only problem is that this is white Jesus, and he isn’t so friendly.

Continue reading

I Thought it was the Cat

(reading time: 5 minutes)

I Thought it was the Cat

by

Blaine Arcade

Demoted for a raise. Strange I know, but it’s the only way to put it. They wanted me out of the building after the ‘softball incident’. I won’t go into detail about it other than to say they’re all sore losers.

It was mutual. I get an extra five K a year and I use it to pay the price of being near all our distribution centers on the East coast. Being equidistant from three truck stops in the middle of nowhere puts you, you guessed it, in the forgotten rusty storage shed of nowhere’s overgrown backyard.

No partner. Had one, but they also didn’t care for my gloating after the softball incident. So when I got there, town called Cracklebranch, my roommates were a pair of suitcases. Got a tiny house on the cheap. Couldn’t hear anything at night. No crickets. No birds in the morning either. Continue reading

Regular Romp #21: Mauve Creatures One through Five

Regular Romp is an interactive fiction activity over on our Twitch stream where I ask a regular a series of questions before turning their answers and a corruption of their username into a short story.  Stop by twitch.tv/blainearcade if you’d like to participate.

starring

Mauvecreature5

There’s absolutely no chance of me helping you until you’ve answered all my questions,” Dr. Richard J. Marco informed his surprise guest. The man paced around the doctor’s apartment impatiently, looking ready to knock over lamps and vases. The situation needed to be controlled, as the doctor had only recently finished redecorating and was in no mood to sweep any of it up. Continue reading

Regular Romp #16: Witchy Wolfi

Regular Romp is an interactive fiction activity over on our Twitch stream where I ask a regular a series of questions before turning their answers and a corruption of their username into a short story.  Stop by twitch.tv/blainearcade if you’d like to participate.

starring

TheWolfChkin

She hadn’t touched a coin in two years, so there was no money to purchase a mirror. She’d learned many skills in her isolation, but not how to blow glass or build the furnace she would need to do that in the first place. Wolfi Cheekin had only her tiny wooden house on the edge of the woods and the skills she brought with her the day she was cast out. Continue reading

Chat Lib #2: Pug on the Rocks

Chat Libs is a ‘Mad Libs’ based activity over on our Twitch live stream.  The audience suggests a scenario, I write a story template with missing words, and they fill in the holes.  Hilarity ensues.  If you wish to participate you can join us at twitch.tv/blainearcade

Scenario: Romantic Murder Mystery on a Ski Lift during Summer

This is an odd place for a homecoming bonfire,” the inspector noted, looking over the edge at the twitchy grass below. “If I didn’t suspect you of the murder before, I certainly do now. This would be the perfect place to fling me off.” Continue reading

Chat Lib #1: The Corset after the Great Punching

Chat Libs is a ‘Mad Libs’ based activity over on our Twitch live stream.  The audience suggests a scenario, I write a story template with missing words, and they fill in the holes.  Hilarity ensues.  If you wish to participate you can join us at twitch.tv/blainearcade

Scenario: Post-apocalyptic Cave Sytem

The homely caves were filled with an excess of pancakes. There was no way this was natural, but could anything be called natural anymore? This was a new underground age of evisceration. She would just have to deal with it, alongside the lack of tablesclouds, and hot paintings. Continue reading

Twitch Stream Story: The Flame you can Hold

Prompt: A young man wanders the Earth on an epic quest to make himself ‘normal’, but when he finds the cure he realizes that loving himself was all he ever needed.

When I was younger I thought a lot about the story with the lion who had a thorn in his paw. If you’ll recall, he needed a mouse to pull it out. At least, that’s the way I heard the story. Maybe I’ve wandered so far that it’s different now. Things like that are changing, but I’ll get to that in a bit. I was going somewhere with this story, the same way I’m always going somewhere. Continue reading

Twitch Stream Story: The Needle was my Last Pen

Prompt: A sad male poet secretly does magical needlepoint

I’m actually surprised I’m allowed to tell my own story here. I thought for sure he would’ve stopped me. Can he not make it past the veil? Truly? It does make a sort of sense. If my art can’t make it, if nobody’s can, then the force that opposes it is similarly kept out. Do you keep anything else out here? Sadness? Pain? A poet can hope. Continue reading