Minesweeper Fiction: Character Guide

This post exists as a guide to the full roster of twenty characters to make it through our interactive fiction activities over on twitch.tv/blainearcade.  The characters were auctioned off to people who acted as the character’s ‘saint’, influencing the character’s future.  Each character was also placed in a squad by their saint, detailing their role in our big on-stream stories and determining the level of risk they faced.



Pudda is a large beast of burden gifted with human speech. She is simple but earnest. For some time she has helped refugees make it the last bit of the way to the new world.


Squad: 2                     Saint: MelodyKazey

Red Huntress (DECEASED)

A silver-haired red-cloaked woman skilled with a bow. She has seen much death in her life, and it’s beginning to get to her.


Squad: 1                          Saint: EricaDrayton


A cheerleader who has proven surprisingly adaptable out of her element. She is confident in her abilities and extremely attractive by conventional standards.

Squad: 3                              Saint: Maddyn13


Sertin appears as a woman wrapped in green and yellow cloth, but she is actually the living embodiment of Cassandra the cheerleader’s hope for the future.

Squad: 1                            Saint: SecksiGeeki


Bonzai is a living whimsical thought that takes the form of a hovering blobfish with a small tree growing out of his head. He has great magical power, but little self-awareness.

Squad: 3                           Saint: WickedScript


A stocky experienced woman who was very good at her job tending to a national park. She has a long history of bad romances and break-ups.

Squad: 4                                   Saint: Maddyn13


A lanky laid-back man who made his living off his one exceptional feature: an absurdly long beard. Thanks to the minefield he is now clean-shaven and struggling with his identity.

Squad: 3                              Saint: WickedScript

Byron’s Beard

A magical familiar created from Byron’s beard. It is roughly dog-sized and behaves like a canine as well.

Squad: 2                               Saint: SecksiGeeki

Techtet (DECEASED)


A highstrung ballerina from a technologically-advanced age. Her shoes can be used to control machinery via dance, though they have a mind of their own.

Squad: 1                         Saint: MelodyKazey


A delicate middle-aged woman who dresses flamboyantly. Part of the mind of her dearly departed pet parrot lives within hers, giving her a few bird-like behaviors.

Squad: 4                          Saint: MelodyKazey


Vince is a stoic man, out of touch with the modern world, who made his living wrestling alligators. He isn’t sentimental, and is largely unaffected by the death he sees or the friends he loses.

Squad: 2                                    Saint: SquishySnail


A mass murderer involved in an incident of road rage/mob violence, Trish has recently escaped an icy prison. She is extremely strong and foul-mouthed, but seems agreeable enough.

Squad: 1                                          Saint: Maddyn13

Mr. 32

He is a robotic rectangular freezer on wheels, meant to keep criminals in cryogenic sleep during their sentences. He is now empty.

Squad: 3                                  Saint: MelodyKazey


A sketch of a very fat cat brought to life. He can exist in any artistic medium as well as the physical world, and currently enjoys acting as a tattoo for Trish.

Squad: 2                                        Saint: SecksiGeeki

Bitbeard (DECEASED)

A cryptocurrency pirate with access to many outdated but amazing technologies. He calms his fears by carrying a malware flintlock and sailing waters and data on one of his many USB vessels.

Squad: 1                                   Saint: SquishySnail


A woman who stays invisible most of the time, though she can make any part of her body individually visible when she wishes. She is currently engaged in flirtation with Bitbeard.

Squad: 4                                Saint: dark_lord3


An artificial intelligence inhabiting a vaporized body of blood. It is his job to gather blood for the dark god that coded him: Murdurlur.

Squad: 2                                  Saint: WickedScript


A genetically engineered man-sized squid Olympian. He is very competitive by nature, and even though his opinion on humans is softening, he still distrusts them.

Squad: 3                               Saint: ScreamingEcho


A large vibrant komodo dragon that wears knitted clothing resembling very woolly socks. He is intelligent, but does not speak.

Squad: 4                                    Saint: SquishySnail

The Dying Light

An entity of light, wisdom, knowledge, and invention. It has inspired many civilizations across time, even acting as the Olympic flame. Without the world it was born in, its fate is uncertain.

Squad: 4                                        Saint: dark_lord3


Treackle is a candy-thieving pixie that must eat frequently to survive. Her instinct to steal sugary treats often overrides every other risk in a situation. She has sugar-coated orange and pink skin.

                                    Squad: 3                                          Saint: MelodyKazey


Barton is a frighteningly ordinary man. His history is average, his family was run-of-the-mill, and he bears absolutely no traits that stand out whatsoever. The most notable thing about him is how his absolute normalcy unsettles and occasionally frightens those around him.

                                    Squad: 1                                      Saint: ScreamingEcho


Penny is a mysterious woman who wears a long coat concealing many blades. She has recently acquired a giant chicken-like bird as her steed. It clucks disapprovingly whenever it hears a falsehood.

                                  Squad: 1                                          Saint: Maddyn13


Cybil is a spoiled teenage were-bastard. She exudes snarky confidence, as whenever danger arises she can burst out in bastard form: a large, hairy, angry man with a short temper and attention span.

                                 Squad: 2                                          Saint: LiorX


Grayjay is a rather ordinary gray bird with a crown-like feather crest. She tends to build her nest on the fanciest spot she can find and then claim it as her own. Anyone intruding is rewarded with angry pecks and scratches. She will never lay any eggs in her magnificent nests, as that may muss them up.

                                Squad: 2                                           Saint: tuvanawolfy


Magmis is a tiny slender volcano about as high as a person’s waist. He can move along the ground by merging with it. He can also produce lava whenever he wishes, though it tends to bubble out in random directions whenever he stammers, which is frequent.

                                Squad: 4                                            Saint: housofdredd


Pam is a girl in a black dress who carries a strange set of black building blocks with her. They act as a form of both prophecying and inspiring artists and architects of the future. Building something with them increases the chance you will soon run into that building on your travels. She claims to have stolen them from Death himself, from the nursery of death’s child Illness.

                                    Squad: 3                                          Saint: MelodyKazey


Glitterhook is a burly pirate who wears a unicorn onesie with a soft squishy horn. He believes he is the reincarnation of an actual unicorn’s spirit and needs to seek out those like him to rebuild the species.

                                   Squad: 4                                            Saint: Professor_Oats


Growly is an asocial and possibly antisocial opossum. The creature cannot speak, and uses the full extent of its intelligence simply to find comfortable dumpster like objects to reside in.

                                   Squad: 3                                           Saint: MamaArcade


Tatosklr is an experienced battle squirrel that bravely fought against armies of tarantulas. He was formerly in th employ of a scaredy-cat barbarian, but is now a free agent. He has steely nerves, and never hesitates to pounce.

                                 Squad: 3                                             Saint: ScreamingEcho


Rargle is a parody of rabies, brought to life to serve the purposes of cruel and powerful pranksters. He is a bipedal creature of few words and exaggerated snarling, but deep down he wants nothing more than than to be taken seriously and seen as something worthy of being pet.

                                   Squad: 1                                             Saint: Duke_darelege


Spleck is a tiny magical creature equal parts dust bunny and shoe shine polish. It is capable of all sorts of shapeshifting and flight magic. It will act to protect its friends, but its only real goal is to polish ten million shoes until there’s nothing of its mind left.

                                   Squad: 1                                                Saint: Mamaarcade

The Caffeinator

The Caffeinator is a coffee-fueled robotic assassin with many devices hidden away on his body. He pursues his targets relentlessly, and claims he has a target to find in the Trap. He is also under the impression that his reward for beheading them will be a new coffee pot for his fuel chamber, one advanced enough to allow him to fly.

                                   Squad: 2                                                Saint: wonder_4

Just Dust

Just Dust is a dust bunny from the world above: home of the dreaded Jeremy. He is a pony-sized mound of hair and dried bits from a thousand sources, all molded into the shape of a rabbit. He was only recently born thanks to a descent into the Minefield, and wanders aimlessly since there is no wind to blow him about.

                                             Squad: 2                                         Saint: DGuy

Senator Pawtickle

Senator Pawtickle is an elected leader of Feline Land. Though tiny, fuzzy, and adorable, he is a pillar of resolve and stony principle. He passionately fights for his constituents against dark gerrymandering forces. The sharply dressed kitten currently carries with him a magical bag that contains all the dishware from every universe, but only random pieces can be removed.

                                         Squad: 1                                           Saint: DGuy


Errant is a man who has become unfixed in time. He pops in and out of situations, sometimes having aged drastically or gotten much younger. Sometimes when he returns it seems as if he has just lived a whole life some-when else.

                                         Squad: 1                                       Saint: ScreamingEcho

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