flash fiction

Don’t Strike the Platform

~ Blaine Arcade ~ Leave a comment

Don’t Strike the Platform

by

Blaine Arcade

Cupcakes awaited in the break room; the scent was clear as he’d passed by. His coworkers figured he couldn’t smell through the hood, but it was much thinner than people thought. Black as night, yet clear as a bell. All his senses were needed to get his swing right.

And by the reaper he had gotten it right, every time, every year, up to today. His final swing: the 733rd. One strike. If it took two his record was ruined. Retirement would sour. Cupcakes would taste like ash.

The swinger made his way up the five steps to his black platform, sealed slats ready for runoff. Closed audience. Two television cameras. Everyone around the country knew him, but none knew his face, just the expert swing. The block was locked in with the basket. Clean, but not slippery. Good job Phil. Phil was on rags and mops. Good guy, No perfect record though.

Up came the squirmer with his handlers. They marched him up, bent him, and locked him on the block. Squirming couldn’t do any good now, but most kept going like live bait. Continue reading →

Twitch Stream Story: Vito the Wisp

~ Blaine Arcade ~ Leave a comment

Author’s Note:  This flash fiction story was written based on a prompt provided by NathalieErienne during a livestream.  I hereby transfer all story rights to them, with the caveat that it remain posted on this blog.  If you would like your own story, stop by twitch.tv/blainearcade during one of my streams and I’ll write it for you live!

Prompt: On a station orbiting a gas giant, what might happen if a seemingly harmless virus were to activate a long dormant gene from a person’s fey ancestry, and cause a possible clash of Earth magics in the sterility of a station near the edge of the solar system?

All he had for her was a subdermal injector filled with ten different kinds of sedative, all selected at random, because the entire research and medical team on the orbiter Djinn Miner 5 was now just throwing darts at the wall in terms of figuring out how to stop her. Briefly Jaxon considered tossing the injector in much the same fashion, but Katiga would elude it effortlessly, and they were already low on supplies. Continue reading →

Twitch Stream Story: Both Built

~ Blaine Arcade ~ Leave a comment

Author’s Note:  This flash fiction story was written based on a prompt provided by tyrooneus_wigglebottomus during a livestream.  I hereby transfer all story rights to them, with the caveat that it remain posted on this blog.  If you would like your own story, stop by twitch.tv/blainearcade during one of my streams and I’ll write it for you live!

Prompt: An old robot created by a mad scientist becomes sentient.

What a day it was for the drifting remains of the Epsilon Hyena Station, the name of which was long faded, or scratched off, across the entirety of its hide, deep tissues, and super-titanium bones. As the paint flaked the name changed in equal measure, though it slowed as the intelligences took off, rocket by rocket, to less cloyingly green pastures.

First shortened to Hyena Station, the name then became the The Lost Dot, then the Garbage Dot, then a bar code in systems now foreign, and now, if it was referenced at all, perhaps as just a glitch in a digital map, it was called the Sundered Green. Called that by the first intelligence to arrive in over three hundred years, the first to see that the crops that used to feed its billion residents at its height had reached a new height of their own, becoming a diverse jungle across the entirety of the artificial moon. Continue reading →

Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘Mobster Pot’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (17): ‘Mobster Pot’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 2011

Collection Location: (REDACTED), Maine

Collection Report: It took three instances of anomalous behavior for the owner of the ‘mobster pot’ to become suspicious and report it to the authorities. Its form is that of an ordinary lobster pot, manufactured some fifty years prior, showing heavy rust but no structural issues. Its owner had it in continuous use off the same stretch of coast for fifteen years.

The first sign of anything amiss occurred when it was brought up and a human big toe was found in the pincers of one of the trapped lobsters. The digit appeared fresh, and so was put on ice, but too close to some of the catch, resulting in it being consumed before they reached shore.

The incident was reported and the lobster men went back to business as usual. However, three weeks later, an elbow was brought up confined to the same pot, this time without any lobsters present to have carried it. It bore a distinctive tattoo of a (REDACTED) riding a (REDACTED) while (REDACTED), which was later tied to the recent missing person case of (REDACTED).

By the third incident the pot was near to bursting with parts of various bodies, most eventually tied to active missing persons cases. Never was anything larger than an entire bicep found, but they varied in the extreme, from eyeballs and tongues to lungs and the skin off someone’s back.

Fearing what might happen if it was sent down again, the lobster men took a vote, and among the voters was someone who had recently become familiar with the Catalog, who then convinced a majority of the others to turn it over to us rather than the police.

Current Collector: Maude Sirento, senior rank

Notes from Collector: “It was probably always strange, but now those waters are overfished. It doesn’t have anything else to dredge up.”

Current Status: active

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Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘NGA Sign’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (15): ‘NGA Sign’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 1996

Collection Location: (REDACTED), Illinois

Collection Report: Technically the MAC was a combination of elements, triggered only when a certain sort of sign was placed on a specific tree house. From then on the sign was imbued with the characteristic properties, regardless of how long or far the separation from the house element.

(REDACTED) was a (REDACTED) year old girl who stumbled across the dilapidated tree house and entered out of curiosity; she was immediately overcome by symptoms resembling a grand mal seizure.

When paralysis ceased she found she had undergone a physical metamorphosis of sex to a male. (Males produced this way display no changes in personality, but do insist on a masculine name, in this case ‘Alden’.)

Alden then recalled the sign placed at the entrance, which clearly stated in permanent marker ‘no girls allowed’. This presented a problem, as he (correctly) feared exiting the tree house would undo the transformation, with the resulting seizure dropping him from a deadly height. With no food or water, he had only a day or two to resolve the issue.

Left behind by the previous occupant were several tools, including a claw hammer and nails. Utilizing these Alden tore up the floorboards, constructed a smaller platform, and lowered it out of the tree house onto a crux of branches, thinking he could drop onto it and transform safely, then climb down. He was successful.

Childhood gossip attracted a crowd, and three more NGA signs were produced with various inks and materials. Each, when placed on the exterior of any enclosed artificial structure, endowed that structure with the same effect. Male phenotypes who enter are completely unaltered. Transformation occurs just slowly enough to escape moment-to-moment perception, taking around thirty minutes in total.

One child’s uncle had completed the Catalog’s correspondence course as a spotter, and made a report. All but the original signs were destroyed by the Catalog, as was the tree house, but that was done by an angry parent who feared permanent alterations to their child’s sexuality.

Current Collector: Transitory Mel (he/him), senior rank

Notes from Collector: “Stops 50% of intruders. Never had a stolen MAC and I never will.”

Current Status: active

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Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘RPM Tire Swing’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (11): ‘RPM Tire Swing’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 1983

Collection Location: (REDACTED), Arkansas

Collection Report: The Catalog followed up on an emergency room report. The notes of one of the attending nurses: ‘Kid says he was on tire swing when it started spinning like it was still on a car and someone gunned it. Looking at his broken collarbone, legs, and neck bruising I almost believe him.‘

The item, apparently having burned through its rope support with friction alone, seemed to depart the property on its own, traveling over 300 miles before it was picked up on the shoulder of Highway (REDACTED) after striking a hitchhiker and landing on its side. The item goes inactive when placed horizontally. It is completely bald, but its performance as a wheel does not seem to suffer, its top speed calculated at over ninety mph.

Current Collector: Garth Millman (they/them), senior rank

Notes from Collector: “It hung as a swing for a while, and we’ve had a few reports of other wheels we haven’t nailed down. My theory is that there’s an entire car broken down and split up, but still working. Some joker holds a wheel and turns it, all four of our swings turn. Somebody steps on a gas pedal buried in the muck and little (REDACTED) is thrown screaming across his yard.”

Current Status: active

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Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘Used Water’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (10): ‘Used Water’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 1985

Collection Location: (REDACTED), Delaware

Collection Report: Here will be made a note regarding MAC discoveries at yard sales: In no other circumstance are you more likely to discover a MAC or an associated item than at a yard sale. Statistically, over 17% of items that move through the Catalog have previously passed through at least one recorded garage or yard sale. There is also an effect, unrelated to each individual piece, where MACs that have been purchased in cash show reduced anomalous effects, but that being offered for sale at one of the events increases them again. This effect cannot be replicated artificially. Continue reading →

Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘Shoelace Ramps’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (9): ‘Shoelace Ramps’

Category: doohickey

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 1966

Collection Location: (REDACTED), South Carolina

Collection Report: Stumbled upon by one of the founding members of the Catalog in the year of its first issue, this MAC had several instances over several years, all of which occurred in the area surrounding a mountainous trail with no signposts. Continue reading →

Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘Loopy’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (8): ‘Loopy’

Category: varmint

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 2007

Collection Location: (REDACTED), New Mexico

Collection Report: This item is the rare exception among MACs, as in appearance and behavior it is nothing more than an ordinary animal. The (REDACTED) family were on an RV trip in 1992 to see the world’s largest pile of (REDACTED) when they stopped to have a picnic. Continue reading →

Mysterious Americana Catalog: ‘All-Popper’

~ Blaine Arcade ~ 3 Comments

M-A-C (7): ‘All-Popper’

Category: whatsit

Collection Date: (REDACTED), 1978

Collection Location: (REDACTED), California

Collection Report: The item was discovered after an unknown amount of active time thanks to an employee of (REDACTED) cinemas. While preparing a batch of popcorn, the artificial butter caused their wedding ring to slip from their finger and strike the active heating implement at the bottom of the hopper.

In their testimony they reported the ring instantly ‘popping’ as if it were any other kernel and becoming lost amongst its fellows. Continue reading →